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No. 18664
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>>18656
No, they haven't. Not a single person has asked me "So where do you go from here?" or anything like that. To be frank, everybody including myself has pretty much already given up on the prospect of me having any sort of "future" like that.
I've tried thinking on it countless times. Could I get a job of some kind? Could I go back into education? Is there any way I can at least make myself useful to the people around me? The answer to all of these is always a resounding "No." There's no way I could get a job, even if I wanted to. Going back into education wouldn't work, as I'd very likely drop out before getting any qualifications (yet again), and thus just waste everybody's time (and money) yet again. As far as making myself useful goes, I don't even do any goddamn housework.
Oh, and I've stopped seeing that old quack. We were wasting each others' time and the medication did fuck-all anyway.
So where does my life go from here? Fuck if I know. I can't even plan ahead for tomorrow as there's nothing to plan ahead for. All that's left is empty days of the same stale routine on repeat for the next 20-30 years or so. Living a clockwork life where the clockwork doesn't even serve any purpose, that's all it is.
If you were to ask me if I were satisfied with that, then I wouldn't be able to give an answer. I can't think of any sort of lifestyle that would be "satisfying" or "rewarding", so I just sit here slowly waiting for my body to wither and rot until my heart stops kicking altogether. That's not just what I do at this point, it's who I am. Kick me all you want, that's the only real purpose for an empty can on the side of the road after all.
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