>>38018
Well, I wouldn't call this one in particular a thriller, but I do get your point. It's just dark and depressing really. I only hesitate to post it because I'd feel bad from reading it.

It's really something I need to work on. Word count impresses people, but if it's all a bunch of boring fluff then what good is it really doing there?

>>38019
It was surprising to learn how many people here are interested in psychology. I like to understand things, and the human mind is one of the most complex things to attempt to understand. Works that really stretch your limits of thinking and change your perspective are really my favorites.

>>38021
Don't most of us have a hobby in psychology, with 34 actually studying it?

>>38021
I prefer a bit more psychoanalysis, but I like psychology too.

Nice Day this, Nice Day that. I feel incredibly left out on something and I've no way of tracking it down. Mind helping me out, Liliane?

>>38024
http://applegate.seacats.net/?page_id=28

This?

>>38025
This is what I actually have the site for, you know! To keep track of works I've written.

>>38025
2600 words? Sure, why not. I've got time to kill.

>>38026
Since you gave the download link so accessible, I'll download and see.

I'm no great expert in Visual Novels, so I will not have a constructive comment. I hope you can forgive me for that.

And thank you for the link.

>>38020
Well, I look forward to the finished product then, and if you'd like me to lend a hand in editing it then I'd be happy to be of service.

>>38021
I somewhat agree, that's why I quite like cyberpunk works a lot. Have you ever seen that anime Texhnolyze? If you haven't, you definitely need to go and watch it at some point. No other work has ever moved me so much and managed to completely change my way of thinking before in my life. People say that the ending is incredibly depressing, but for me it was the one thing that raised me up out of my own many-years-long depression. Seeing the main character, Ichise's, drive to live, his overpowering will to survive no matter what, really spoke to me and made me change my entire outlook on life.

As for psychology, I have mixed feelings towards it. It's hilarious how impossibly stupid half of it is, how inaccurate it can be, how the entire field is littered with misconceptions and errors, but on the other hand the DSM handbook makes for some entertaining bedtime reading. Though, that's just my view on it as someone whom several psychiatrists have labelled "incurable through psychology/psychiatry" for various reasons, so it's just my bitter opinion on a flawed subject.

That short story was alright. Though rather than depressing, I'd say it's more frustrating for the girl's pointless stubbornness. If you've ever seen Grave of the Fireflies, it made me feel like that movie did, just frustration towards the character for being too stubborn, selfish and prideful. It was well-written though, I did like it.

>>38021
Hmm... Can I ask when you wrote this. Also how old is the 'boy' that he's able to kick her out?

>>38021
You write very well, Kinjo-san. I would like to make more constructive comments, but my English does not allow it.

I will see Nice Day now.

>>38029
Texhnolyze, huh? Never heard of it, but I'll look into it now. I've also been wanting to watch Grave of the Fireflies but keep forgetting.

I do agree with you that psychology can be so silly sometimes and interesting to read. Although now that I'm taking a class on it and learning it step by step it all seems to make more sense.

The silly thing is that it's mostly theoretical. I guess that's why it's mostly considered pseudoscience, but either way there's little to no proof for most of psychology. Just analyzing and interpreting things, but I find that to be really fun, so I don't mind at all.

Anyway glad you read the story, I find your comments on it to be pretty interesting.

>>38030

November 24th 2011.

Don't think about it too hard. I never had a specific age in mind.

It's all just a giant metaphor, anyway.

>>38032
The concept is interesting, and I'm not going to give an actual critique, because I don't think you want one/don't know if you do. And I don't want to give you one if it is not welcome.

But I will say a few things anyway. Where are the quotes when people talk?

Also, I think you should expand on the points it would give the writing and the overall message more power.

Then I never got to that visual novel because I got tied up into something and thus became busy once more.

>>38033
I didn't feel like writing quotes. I also thought it added to the style of it.

Which points? Either way I kind of want to expand on this in a later work, so I'd like to keep the theme a little more hidden until then.

But if you can find it, good for you.

>>38032
Texhnolyze is one of those series that most people don't take much of an interest in, which is a shame because it's one of the few anime that I'd actually consider a "masterpiece" scenario-wise. It and Serial Experiments Lain sort of go hand-in-hand as well, so if you liked one then you're sure to enjoy the other.

>>38033
>Where are the quotes when people talk?
To tell the truth, that caught my eye as well, but it was actually one of the things I quite liked about it. I've seen the technique used in writing before but I'm not sure if it has some kind of name, in my opinion it helps the reader dissociate from the characters and adds to the overall atmosphere of it. It seems like quotation marks would be an unnecessary addition in a story that doesn't have much talking to begin with if you ask me, but again that's just personal preference.

>>38025
...I was fifty minutes thinking about what to say. The words just will not leave. I have nothing constructive to say. So I'll say what I feel.

I love it. It was beautiful.

I read the Notes as well. I agree. The ending is not sad. It may sound stupid, but I think the story continues. For each person who has to say something to someone special, this story continues. She did not finish reading the Visual Novel.

I have to say something to someone. Long ago I should have said that. But I was so immature and silly, so young. So stupid. Maybe my friendship with her is over years ago, but I certainly have to say those words.

Thank you for write it.

And sorry for being sentimentalist, everyone.

>>38035
I see I understand, without quotes is fine in my opinion.

I think you misunderstood, what I meant by 'it would make the overall message more powerful'

What I meant by it was, the reader would get more impact I feel out of the story, (the sadness of the whole event) if the storytelling wasn't so distanced.

>>38029
>>38032
>>38036
Yeah Kinjo go watch it, John has good taste etc.

>>37879
Jisei and Kansei are terrible, at least for mystery/story aspect. Everything else was alright though(art, voice acting, etc).

To clarify, I don't think the writing in Katawa Shoujo is really that bad, it's certainly easier on me than deiz was~ It IS a bit amateurish, but some people may be exaggerating a bit here in their comments on the writing~

>>38041
If you're talking about me, the complaint I hold is the same I hold for all writing of its kind: a first person narrative with the person describing things that they should be showing!

The minor nitpicks I already admitted to being nitpicks! Suddenly learning sign language overnight!

>>37998
But you already are reading my writing in /limbo/ right~?

>>38043
I want a cohesive piece that stands on its own without interfering writing!

>>38042
Well, it wasn't really you in particular but I felt that it might be coming across to some that the writing in KS was bad. Jyoji's comment comes to mind, and Rosa's response to one of your comments. I don't think it's either poor or fantastic, and I do think it's better than a lot of the Japanese VNs I read (though that may be the fault of the translation).

Heh, I think it's good that you're going for Shizune right away~ Honestly I think I might have liked her route less if I had read one of the others before it, because it's very different~

>>38045
VN's in general just seem to have poor writing.

>>38045
Shizune loves Risk! This alone makes her the best girl.

>>38047
Though I admit I liked the ojou-sama atmosphere they created with Lilly. For otaku-pandering crap, it's well-written crap.

Why must many a /seacat/ be such writing nazis?

>>38050
All people who enjoy writing a bit fashion themselves experts on the subject. It's only natural you'd criticise.

>>38050
Why must /seacats/ discuss writing so much to begin with?

/teaparty/ - writers and critics general,

>>38052
Cynicism demands you hate on what you love.

>>38052
Funny how some critics can barely outperform the work that they criticize to begin with.

>>38054
Well, you know. It's that. You don't need to be able to build a car to tell one is poorly built.

>>38055
You can build all the cars you want, but it doesn't look all that credible when you say that particular car is poor, but yours is even worse.

>>38056
That's only a problem if you actually claim your car is better. Perhaps you know your car is no good, but you can tell this other car is bad, too.

>>38056
So a man isn't qualified to criticize da Vanci's paintings unless he's able to paint like da Vinci himself? Guess that puts every art critic in the world out of a job, then.

>>38050
>>38056
>>38054
Gee, I wonder who this could be

>>38057
I'll agree with you on that point.
>>38058
Very true. It can't be helped. Though painting is even more ambiguous to rate than writing is.
>>38059
Your mom is meta.

>>38054
And how can you make the judgement, without knowing even how well as you say those 'critiques' can write?

You know what they say! You don't need to be a 5 star chef to know that a cake tastes horrible.

>>38060
Well, I never much was one to take an interest in paintings, and most modern art just confuses me as to how anyone who isn't blind could possibly think it's good anyway, so art critics disappearing would make little difference to me really.
Of course, the inverse also applies that somebody who is good at writing won't necessarily make a very good critic. Being able to produce high quality works doesn't necessarily imply the ability to recognise other high quality works; likewise, being able to recognise works of high quality doesn't mean that one has the ability to produce works of similar quality.

>>38062
Because I've seen these critics do what critize, and it's not all that better. It might even be worse. But at this point, I'm not even talking about writing, but things in general.

i.e. Your sibling comes in and sees you draw. They say "It's nice, but it's not like [insert anime/manga here]"
>>38064
I'll agree to that, though I've seen a little less of this inverse circumstance.

>>38066
When a person criticizes something as being as being terrible, then going on to say that their own work is much better even when it really isn't, then that certainly is a problem. Other than that, I think it's fine for someone to point out the flaws in something so long as they recognise that their own work isn't much better, or even if it's a lot worse as the case might sometimes be.
Well, that's what I think about it anyway.

>>38067
Sometimes they don't. They just freely tell them that they are terrible at it and never make an attempt to do their own stuff. Like movie critics.

Well, as long as they aren't too bad about it.
Besides, I said some critics, not all critics.

But film critics criticise better than you do, so you're not qualified to criticise them. Moreover, by your own logic, as someone who hasn't shown himself to be a good writer, how can you claim anyone's work is bad?

>>38069
I never did.

Then if you don't assert those criticising KS's writing are bad writers themselves, what was the point of the complaint?

>>38071
I never said that either.

>>38072
You sure don't say a lot of things , ne~