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No. 27015
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Every morning, Kinzo woke up just as the sunlight began peeking through his window.
He heard his children chattering.
He felt the gentle breezes blowing.
What a lovely way to start the day!
“Blech!” said the old man as he sat up in bed. He hurried to put on his cape and drink his absinthe. “I hate sunlight and gentle breezes. But most of all, I hate the sound of my stupid children talking!”
Then the old man ate his favourite breakfast of burnt bacon, extra-rare goat, and a big glass of wine to wash it all down.
“Harump,” he said, when he finished. “Now it’s time for my summoning exercises.”
He tried to summon as he played chess. He tried to summon as he downed his absinthe. He tried to summon as he yelled at his stupid offspring.
Now it may seem to you that there was no time the old man wouldn't try to summon. But that is not true. He liked to worship Beatrice. His favourite phrase was, “OH DESIRE,” which made him popular all around /a/.
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My weak family's second rate. I'm "eccentric" incarnate.
I jump out windows and catch fire. I like to yell out OH DESIRE!
I'm super rich, wealthy as can be. Nothing that you think about, can be put past me.
No One-Winged mark for Natsuhi. Now smile for me, OH BEATORICHE!
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After singing his song,
Kinzo was ready for his
outdoor summoning exercises.
His servants were used
to his summoning.
They just greeted and said, "Good luck, master Kinzo."
"Humph," Kinzo answered and
walked all the way to Kuwadorian.
At the mansion, the old man sat in a chair
in the centre of the courtyard.
Then, he concentrated very strongly and waited.
Now, if you were concentrating and waiting
as patiently as Kinzo,
you would hear it...
a wicked cackle-cackle-cackle,
followed by a gentle flap of butterfly wings.
===========================
And if you were concentrating
very, very strongly,
without a sneeze, or a cough,
or a minor distraction,
you would hear a louder and more wicked
cackling laugh.
"Ah," said Kinzo.
"So you are back again."
And with that, there appeared
a crazed Witch in Gold.
Witches can take a long time
to get used to sometimes,
but the old man had waited quietly
and drew the witch into a warm embrace.
Then the old summoner's chin dropped to
her shoulder and he began to cry.
And for a moment they stood together,
the old man and the witch,
until she got a nasty itch.
When the Witch cackled and stirred,
the old man laughed and stirred too.
Then they both went wherever it was
they had to go until the next twilight.
============================
But one day something strange happened.
The old man concentrated as hard as usual.
He waited until all the siblings
took their children back home.
He waited until Genji the head servant
called him to come home.
He waited until the sun went down
and dark forest near Kuwadorian
was still in the darkness.
Finally, the old man went back.
The next day, the same thing happened.
"I wonder," said Kinzo,
"what has happened to my beloved Beatrice."
Then the old man began to worry.
He worried so hard that
he completely forgot about everyone else.
Finally, the old man knew what to do.
He had someone draw a picture of the Golden Witch. This is what it looked like:
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Kinzo showed this picture
to everyone in the household.
"That's the Mistress of the Island!" said Shannon.
"They say she stalks the corridors at night,
but I haven't seen her ever."
"Hmmm," said Krauss.
"I can't be sure entirely,
but I think that's the Golden Witch.
I look at the epitaph below her every day
at noon, but I've never seen her before."
The cousins knew her too.
"That's Beatrice the Witch!" Maria cried.
"She gave me pieces of her magic of happiness."
"My, my," said his servant, Mrs. Kumasawa.
"That's the mistress, Beatrice.
I try to solve her epitaph every night,
but I haven't solved it at all.
I hope it can be solved."
"If she's a witch," said Battler,
"she cannot possibly exist in this world."
=============================
Sure enough, there were the orange and golden butterflies, who carried along a wicked and mad cackle
when Kinzo drew near.
The Witch in charge cackled
at the old man.
"I will kill your children for you," she said.
So the old man waited patiently
while the Golden Witch carried out her ritual.
It went:
<At the first twilight, you shall lift up as sacrifice the six chosen by the key.
At the second twilight, the surviving shall tear apart the two who are close.
At the third twilight, the surviving shall praise my honorable name on high.
At the fourth twilight, gouge the head and kill.
At the fifth twilight, gouge the chest and kill.
At the sixth twilight, gouge the stomach and kill.
At the seventh twilight, gouge the knee and kill.
At the eighth twilight, gouge the leg and kill.
At the ninth twilight, the Witch shall be revived and none shall be left alive.>
And with that, the old man and the Witch cackled together.
=================================
Every twilight, the old man
and his Witch visit the first six victims.
They give the Witch a laugh while
she and the old man have a round of massacre.
At the next twilight, they visit the two who are close.
Kinzo and his doctor share
a game of chess while the Witch
tears Jessica and Kanon apart.
Every twilight after the first, the cousins panic about the epitaph of the Witch
and curse the summoning old man.
And on the last twilight, Kinzo is torn apart
by demons, Goat-kun, while
the Witch whips her dog named Battler.
The old man is so happy that he has
almost stopped yelling completely.
Now he only yells OH DESIRE
if he runs out of his favorite cereal,
or if he can't find his socks,
or if the Witch has a headache on the day
he wanted to tie her to the bed.
But everyone yells OH DESIRE about those kinds of things sometimes,
because they're grumbly things.
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